yeah, i know. i shouldn't be online and should be reading and studying my ass off. but i'm still emotional attach to that certain someone. i know it's impossible but still good to see if he's on and when he'll say "hi" and pretend he gives a shit. i'm such an idiot. blah X(
moving on, today i had lunch with saraa. never realize so many minor "issues" can become an issue. it shouldn't even be an issue to begin with. we just talked about stuff, interesting. there're just too many minor things and things that are nobody's business being brought up and being judged, critized, and degraded.
i used to wonder what is an "ideal" world. now, i don't even bother. too many "what if," "just if *blank* doesn't exist...," and pretends as such. for example, i start to think the origin of hate is love. you love, fail, and then hate. so if there's no love, then there will be no hate. therefore, if someone hates a lot of things, either s/he loves or loved but failed and if someone who doesn't hate also means s/he doesn't love because nothing matters to him/her.
the first part i think it made sense, the "therefore" and so on.. eh. trying to think of examples to refute myself, but not much popping in my head. any comments?
.
sometimes i really wonder how much longer i can hold. it's like so much pressure and responsibilities on my shoulder and it's piling up every minute. who would actaully understand what i'm going through besides myself or me telling someone? sometimes, i just wish that someone can just read off my head and feel my pain.
moving on, today i had lunch with saraa. never realize so many minor "issues" can become an issue. it shouldn't even be an issue to begin with. we just talked about stuff, interesting. there're just too many minor things and things that are nobody's business being brought up and being judged, critized, and degraded.
i used to wonder what is an "ideal" world. now, i don't even bother. too many "what if," "just if *blank* doesn't exist...," and pretends as such. for example, i start to think the origin of hate is love. you love, fail, and then hate. so if there's no love, then there will be no hate. therefore, if someone hates a lot of things, either s/he loves or loved but failed and if someone who doesn't hate also means s/he doesn't love because nothing matters to him/her.
the first part i think it made sense, the "therefore" and so on.. eh. trying to think of examples to refute myself, but not much popping in my head. any comments?
.
sometimes i really wonder how much longer i can hold. it's like so much pressure and responsibilities on my shoulder and it's piling up every minute. who would actaully understand what i'm going through besides myself or me telling someone? sometimes, i just wish that someone can just read off my head and feel my pain.
