so i haven't exactly been here in the longest time. and i decided i needed a place where i can rant and raveabt anything i want n not let anyone find out abt it....so here it is. Anyone and everyone i knw is way to caught up on youtubeand gamezer[so am i usually] that they'll never noticethis....so now i will start the rants and raves of Amber Mills ;)
i guess the question of the day is "what would you say if someone ask you if you know me and what am i like?" the first thing that comes to mind is always the most accurate thought/feeling you have for that person. it just came up to my head that the me most ppl see is prollie just one side of me. it might be the working side, serious side, playful side, annoying, tough, bitchie, cranky n all these other split personalities i have. i don't think there's any one person in this world that knows me well enough to see most of them or who knows me well enough to capture the symptoms or train of my thoughts.
out of all these, the fave kay i like is the whatever me. don't give a crap any more b/c life has let me down so many times where i wanna give up but still hanging in there just to do mediocrity. that's the "fuck it" phase. i missed that.
i've been pretty moody for the past few wks. moods r like going on rollercoaster rides. did things that's completely outta my league. in a way, i'm glad for his entrance to my life. made me realize what crazy shit i'd do. n in another way, i know i'm incapable of being in a relationship. i've been struggling for a few wks already not abt things btw us, but more like stuff abt myself. of course, a lot of analyzation of every movement, every detail, every word, every action n all that crap. but fuck it, i'm through. i even thought abt not being so passive n just go for it. something stopped me.
throughout the past wks, i think i really have to thank a lot of ppl who's been w/ me or try to cheer me up. although it didn't work that well, there r moments of relaxation and fun to it. i really don't know what i'd do w/o you guys. much love. thnx for hanging w/ me, thnx for calling, thnx for sending me stuff, thnx for the msgs. thnx a whole bunch of crap. u may not realize, but it's all these lil things that makes ppl's day n pull them outta sorrow.
i actually had some creative juice flowing in my head earlier. but it's too late to write. so tired, head hurts. i'll just call it a night.
i guess the question of the day is "what would you say if someone ask you if you know me and what am i like?" the first thing that comes to mind is always the most accurate thought/feeling you have for that person. it just came up to my head that the me most ppl see is prollie just one side of me. it might be the working side, serious side, playful side, annoying, tough, bitchie, cranky n all these other split personalities i have. i don't think there's any one person in this world that knows me well enough to see most of them or who knows me well enough to capture the symptoms or train of my thoughts.
out of all these, the fave kay i like is the whatever me. don't give a crap any more b/c life has let me down so many times where i wanna give up but still hanging in there just to do mediocrity. that's the "fuck it" phase. i missed that.
i've been pretty moody for the past few wks. moods r like going on rollercoaster rides. did things that's completely outta my league. in a way, i'm glad for his entrance to my life. made me realize what crazy shit i'd do. n in another way, i know i'm incapable of being in a relationship. i've been struggling for a few wks already not abt things btw us, but more like stuff abt myself. of course, a lot of analyzation of every movement, every detail, every word, every action n all that crap. but fuck it, i'm through. i even thought abt not being so passive n just go for it. something stopped me.
throughout the past wks, i think i really have to thank a lot of ppl who's been w/ me or try to cheer me up. although it didn't work that well, there r moments of relaxation and fun to it. i really don't know what i'd do w/o you guys. much love. thnx for hanging w/ me, thnx for calling, thnx for sending me stuff, thnx for the msgs. thnx a whole bunch of crap. u may not realize, but it's all these lil things that makes ppl's day n pull them outta sorrow.
i actually had some creative juice flowing in my head earlier. but it's too late to write. so tired, head hurts. i'll just call it a night.
